Emo Poetry

I've started typing this post like 5 times and ended up deleating it. It is basically one big 'I'm emo ATM so please hug me' type posts - and I was at odds about writing it. I have though decided to continue. Not so much for my desparation of emo love - but because...well I don't really have a concrete reason. I guess I feel that the 'poker life' is sometimes glorified and made to seem simple. The upsides are magnified and the downsides ignored. The truth of the matter is that variance is a mofo...and very few people truely understand its sickness.

Gone are the days of immense online edges and 50k hand sample sizes. Edge is still there - but you must fight through the variance to get it...and thats not so easy. No matter how long you have been playing for - the downswings still get to you. They have definately been getting to me lately!

Whenever I coach someone they almost always ask what the most important quality for an online player is. They always think I'm going to reply with some mystical secret skill that very few are aware of. I can almost hear their sighs of disappointment at my boring reply --> discipline. Without discipline you simply cannot succeed in the long run.

If I was ever to back somebody - I would rather take a marginal winner over a potentially huge winner who is ill disciplined. The knowledge required to beat $50NL and below is really not that much. I coach a guy called Grant who was basically an APL player who had learnt bad habits and had no thoeritcal knowledge. I taught him and his friend the exact same stuff in a relatively short period. They both grasped everything and were of relatively equal competance. A few months on and Grant has turned his bankroll into 5 or 6 fold - while his mate had bust his account within a few days.

Casinos only have a few % of edge in most games. The reason they are so succesful is that they have a system - a winning system - and they stick to the rules without emotion. They never faulter. Most good poker players can find larger edge than the Casino does in a game of blackjack - but emotional control and discipline is what separates the good from the best.

Making money at poker is a grind - almost robotic at times. You must spend countless hours in front of a screen dealing with common swings - and are meant to be immune to them all. The truth of the matter is that poker is stressful. Variance can affect our play even when we are winning. Discipline allows us to look at each play on its merits and to be honest with ourselves when we play bad.

Originally I was just going to bitch about how badly I was running at everything lately, and how I'm angry as I feel I may have played badly at some points. Somehow this post turned into a lesson about discipline which I guess I subconsciously gave myself. I'm pretty sure only about 4 people actually read this blog - but in the odd chance one of you just watched rounders and is dreaming of  'vegas and the fucking mirage' - just know what you are getting yourself into!